Expect less {SYL}

It’s week nine of Simplify Your Life, and this week Deb is getting us to sift through the expectations we have for ourselves and figure out what can go. Read more here, because it really is worth thinking about for yourself.

This challenge has sort of jumped out of the computer and punched me in the gut.  Lately I’ve been chasing my tail, keeping way too busy and falling short of my own perceived expectations of myself all. the. time.

Oh the expectations.  I blame the blogs.  The mummy blogs with their stats and advertising taunting me and my sad stats and bare sidebars.  The interior design blogs mocking my disgracefully undecorated tiny house.  The organisation blogs making me feel anything but.  All these blogs that I read to inspire me are managing, instead, to make me feel like shit.

What to do about this?  Is a little bloggy break in order?  I’ll still write of course, but perhaps a week or two avoiding my Google reader might help?  Followed by a thorough cull of subscriptions.  I think I need to be very picky about what is actually helpful, and what is really just helping me feel inadequate.

Of course, blogs aren’t the only issue.  My perfectionist streak has its little viral fingers all over the ridiculous expectations I have for myself.  The need to do everything myself in case someone else doesn’t do it right.  My paralysing fear of failure.  Something has kicked all of this into overdrive the past couple of weeks, and it’s fairly clear that something has to give.

There are roles in my life that I have to play.  Wife and mummy.  They deserve my full attention.  There are jobs that I have to do.  But not everything has to be done perfectly.  Yes, we have to eat.  But we don’t have to eat a gourmet meal every night.  Yes, I have to clean.  But it’s not all or nothing – near enough IS good enough. Everything else is optional. Planning the perfect party?  Optional.  Blogging?  Optional.  Crafting?  Optional.  Making sure all the business work is done?  Essential!  Making sure it’s all pretty?  Optional.

I know that I’ve lost focus the past few weeks.  Life got crazy busy, and rather than lower my expectations, I just got nasty at myself for not being perfect.  I think it’s time to be nice to me for a bit.  Let go of some of the guilt.  Be realistic about what I can achieve.  Be awesome, but not perfect.

Do you need to let something go?  Is it time to reassess the things that have crept into your life lately?  Do you like ice cream?  Mmmmmm, ice cream…

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12 thoughts on “Expect less {SYL}

  1. Perfectly awesome post ; )

    Definitely cull that reader – I do it all the time. There are popular blogs that I avoid as I don’t find they add to my life. I love your optional vs essential breakdown – such clarity breaks it down to the bare bones!

  2. I hear you on all the blogs – I don’t blog myself (just about my challenges) but read heaps. I did unsubscribe to a few as I was feeling bad about not being able to achieve what they were! And reading them is just so time consuming!
    I love how you are going to be awesome, but not perfect! Now that is awesome!

  3. Nice post – actually inspired me to be easier on myself – well i thought about it – hahaha. It is hard especially when we do get crazy busy good luck with letting it go :)

  4. ditto to what the others have said! if we all sat down and worked out what was actually optional and essential, and just focused on the essential, we’d all have less pressure, more time, and probably not be so down on ourselves! might make that “optional” list myself. And I recently did a blog cull as well and am the same as Deb. I culled popular blogs, too, because I wasn’t getting anything out of them. I’m much more interested in following others doing the 52 week challenge as there is so much insightful and inspirational advice/messages in them! Thanks for sharing.

  5. thanks for sharing tam – i hear you! i totally understand the expectation on self to be perfect that we just get so exhausted. I like that you have sorted out your optionals vs essentials, so that when you do get overwhelmed its easier to know what to let rest for a bit xx

  6. These are all thoughts that have also been running through my head in the last few weeks. It is so important to be true to who you are and not live a life of constant comparison. For me, I am in the process of evaluating what my highest priorities need to be and how that looks in terms of time allocation. Taking time to rest in who HE is, is SO important for me. Love this post – well done for getting to this point – self awareness is such a helpful tool in life. Love ya xx

  7. I think with the blogs you need to remember that behind all the good pretty stuff is often real life that isn’t quite what one would expect if you only read the happy classy posts! Really enjoy reading your posts so look forward to your next one…if thats next week or in a few weeks!

  8. I just commented but hit the wrong button so am commenting again, so you may get two from me but anyway, I was saying I agree with you. Personally I don’t abide many of the mummy blogs – way too much perfection – and too many recipes that they say are simple – but they aren’t – I can’t keep up with it all. I invite you to visit my blog – http://www.noclothesnoshoes.blogspot.com – I’m poor, I can’t clean or cook and life is a bit of a drag.
    Keep posting!

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