The hubs and I had a bit of a disagreement last night. It was more than a petty argument. Although it probably started off that way, it ended with exposing some feelings of mine that left me feeling raw and exhausted.
It started at the end of dinner time, which meant it unfolded in front of the kids. We argued well; there was no swearing or belittling. No name calling or nastiness. But there was some yelling (me) and some crying (also me).
I don’t remember my parents doing much arguing. I remember the fall-out; the looks and the silence, but not the exchange of words. Maybe they did and I’ve blocked it out, but whatever the case, I don’t recall much shouting.
It has only been recently that I’ve gotten better at vocalising my feelings rather than bottling them up. I’m still learning, which explains the yelling; it’s sometimes such a struggle to get things out that it all explodes out at once.
I want my kids to know that it’s ok to tell people how you’re feeling. I don’t want them to know the anguish of holding fear and anger and sadness inside. I want them to know that sometimes grownups disagree, that they sometimes yell and cry, that marriage is hard and involves working through a whole lot of stuff.
I want them to see us argue, and I want them to see that at the end of it we can hug, and find common ground, and move forward.
I want them to know that mummy and daddy aren’t perfect. We have faults, we fall down, we get up and try again. We get hurt, we hurt each other, we say sorry, we make up.
Do you argue in front of your kids? Do you think it’s ok, or is it better left behind a closed bedroom door?
Linking up with Jess at Diary of a SAHM for I Blog on Tuesday.
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