The lost parts of me

If you’re a blogger in Australia, you may have heard on the Twitter-vine that the Digital Parents conference was held in Melbourne today.

I really wanted to go.  But it was too hard.  Too hard for hubby to do look after the kids for the day.  Too hard to find babysitters for three kids.  Too hard to then get the kids looked after overnight as hubby is at the football tonight.  Too hard, too hard, too hard.

Six years ago I gave up a really wonderful career to have my babies.  I chose to stay at home with them.  What I didn’t realise was that I was giving up a part of me that would be so, so hard to reclaim years later.  The part of me that was separate to my family.  The part of me that loved to be mentally challenged.  The part of me that met new people and made intelligent conversation.

Take six years out of the workforce and add three small children and it’s often too hard to do the things that fill that gap in my life.  Other things take priority.  Things that pay the bills.  Things that the kids need.  Things that just have to be done.

And I’ve been feeling a bit down about it lately.  And then I couldn’t get to the conference and I felt even more down.  So I cleaned my freaking bathroom, cooked my family dinner, ate chocolate and blogged.  And resolved that whatever it takes, however hard it is, I’ll be reclaiming that lost piece of me bit by bit.

And then I took a photo of my shiny shower which made me feel a little happier.



4 thoughts on “The lost parts of me

  1. If it’s any help Tam I feel exactly as you do. EXACTLY.
    I now have Charli at school & I thought it would be so simple to go back to working days & ditch the awful night shifts – but it is just too hard. Again it is me that has to just suck it up & do what works for everyone else but me. We do it as mothers. I just hope that in the end there will be some point in time where we get to reclaim ourselves again.
    I hope that point is sooner rather than later too just quietly ;) lol

  2. I hear you! Except I mowed the lawn and washed the car :) I get scared of losing me and I am already terrified of going back to work even though I know it’s ages away. But we are doing a very important job…. and honestly, I am still glad that I am the kind of mum that will always put her family first. It is so, so hard, but it is worth it!

  3. Hahaha I did wonder what your shower had to do with this post!

    You strong woman, putting aside your own needs for others. You will be rewarded (in time haha)! You may not necessarily reclaim the old you – you might discover a whole NEW you. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

  4. I wish you were there too but I totally understand too hard – it took 3 friends, a lot of coordination and stress to pull off DP Con (and ended up costing me money I did not plan to spend) – i have been at home almost 9 years and am in the first year of really finding those missing pieces – figuring out what they look like now (since they are not the same pieces i put down 9 years ago)

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